


I loved you til my dying breath

by ourvelvetscars



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blood, Dean crying, God being a dick, I'm so sorry, Love Confessions, M/M, Pain, a lot of blood, cas dies, spn finale tease, this is all just pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25934476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourvelvetscars/pseuds/ourvelvetscars
Summary: "You know," Chuck began, "In all of these thousands of alternate universes, he's loved you in every single one of them."
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 84
Collections: Supernatural S15 Coda Stories





	I loved you til my dying breath

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by this tweet: https://twitter.com/malakbox/status/1260314904571064326?s=20  
> I am praying that this isn't what the finale looks like but we can't trust spn. I'm so sorry for this.

He was too late. Dean's feet scrambled and tripped over the tree roots as he sprinted with all his might, but he was still too late. The sun was setting just above the horizon and the pinks and reds painted the sky. Dean couldn't understand why the sky was so beautiful and hopeful when he was fighting the greatest battle of his life. It seemed too cruel.

Cas,  _ his _ Cas, was pushed up against a wall, unable to move and struggling to breathe. Dean's eyes were trained on him, but his eyes quickly found Chuck. 

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Dean yelled, his voice so hoarse and broken from all the yelling. Chuck had almost killed Sam but Sam escaped in a matter of seconds, and then they realised Cas was in danger. And now he was too fucking late. 

"Dean," Cas croaked out.

"I'll kill him slowly. At least that way you can say your goodbyes," Chuck smirked, enjoying Dean's suffering. Dean wanted to burn him. Castiel collapsed to the ground, wheezing which pulled Dean out of his rage and his new thirst for blood and revenge. Blood started pooling in his lower abdomen and even Cas looked incredibly surprised by it. Dean's rage returned as he quickly realised Chuck was hurting Cas on purpose and out of pure spite. He rushed forward, kneeling in front of his angel, trying to pull him up to a sitting position. 

"Cas, come on. Stay with me," Dean said desperately, clutching Cas's coat in his hands as if it was his only lifeline. And maybe it was. 

Cas coughed up blood, thick maroon liquid, and a shit ton of it. Dean had never felt this kind of fear before. He had fought Lucifer, he had been to hell, he had been hexed and beaten up, he had lost everyone he had ever loved including his brother several times, but this? This was entirely different. It hurt so much. And it scared the shit out of him. 

"Cas," Dean begged, " _ Please.  _ Please, you gotta hang on." 

Cas's eyes momentarily focused on Chuck. How could his father kill his son? How could he take him away from Dean again? But Cas knew he was truly dying this time. There was no point holding onto all that anger when he should be spending his last moments with Dean. Cas's blue eyes, once so bright and full of life, glazed over Dean's worried ones. Cas looked paler than usual, and Dean wondered how much blood he's losing as seconds ticked by. Cas sighed, kneeling and letting Dean hold him upright as he couldn't find his strength.

"Dean," Cas muttered, coughing up blood again, "I need to tell you something."

Dean shook his head, biting his lips anxiously. More blood spurted out and Cas didn't know what hurt more. The blood oozing out of his stomach, the blood trickling out of his mouth or the fear masked behind Dean's eyes.

"Dean," Cas tried again, "I- You are the best man I have ever know. Everything I have ever done, it has been for you. All for you."

Dean nodded, "I know. Cas, I know. Just hang on, okay?" Those were the only words Dean's panicked mind could formulate. 

Cas shook his head, which was a mistake looking back in hindsight because there was not enough blood flowing to his head and his vision blurred momentarily.

_ "Dean," _ Cas pleaded, "I love you. I have always loved you. Since the moment I met you. Always. I need you to know that. Know that you are loved. Know that if we had more time, I could have given you everything."

Cas cupped Dean's one last time, trying his best to smile through the searing pain.

Dean shook his head again, "I- I- Cas, I know. I- You already  _ have _ given me everything." He could barely get the words out. 

"I know. Everything-" Cas coughed again, this time falling to the ground, "Everything you want to tell me, I know. I love you so much. Please, let me rest now."

Dean held Cas's hand, feeling the fire burning in his lungs. He laid Cas's head on the ground very gently. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't do anything except watch. He heard Chuck's voice in the distance but his ears were ringing. Before he could figure out what Chuck said, light poured out of Castiel's eyes. Cas's grip on Dean's fingers relaxed, and Dean watched as Cas's chest stilled. Dean stayed there, watching, trying to breathe again. It was like the world around him had stopped and nothing else mattered. He had lost Cas before, but he knew this time was final. Dean realised the pattern burned and etched onto the ground. The pattern and shadow of Castiel's broken wings. Dean's fingers traced the shadow on the ground, but it just felt like the soft grass beneath his fingers. 

"You know," Chuck began, "In all of these thousands of alternate universes, he's loved you in every single one of them."

Dean stared at the blood on his hands, closed his eyes and opened them again, and at that moment he knew, whether he lived or died, it didn't matter. He could never get his hands clean. 


End file.
